MINNEAPOLIS — The Wolves’ season continues to be a rollercoaster of highs, lows, and deeply confusing French big men.
Let’s start with the good news, because if we don’t, Wolves fans may spontaneously combust. Anthony Edwards, the team’s resident highlight machine and future mayor of the Twin Cities, is casually morphing into a 6’5” version of Steph Curry. He’s launching nearly ten threes a game and hitting over 40% of them, which means we’re only weeks away from the inevitable "Is Ant actually better than Jordan???" takes. You heard it here first: he’s not... yet.
Meanwhile, Jaden McDaniels is continuing his evolution from “defensive unicorn” to “guy who occasionally does cool stuff on offense.” His three-point percentage is down, but fear not—he’s now passing slightly more and even getting the occasional rebound. In a shocking development, Jaden has learned that the basketball hoop is not just something to orbit around defensively, but something you can also score on. Sources say he may attempt a dribble move before the All-Star break. Stay tuned.
But of course, it wouldn’t be a Timberwolves season without a sprinkle of sadness.
Rob Dillingham, who many believed could be the next lightning-fast backup guard with irrational confidence, has instead chosen the role of “extremely talented guy who disappears mid-game like he got snapped by Thanos.” Wolves fans were promised microwave scoring; instead, they got one of those Easy-Bake ovens that takes three hours to make a cupcake. It's safe to say Rob isn't exactly panning out as the front office and, specifically, the fans had hoped back in October before the season began. So the front office went out and signed the player Bones Hyland, who was the prototype Gen 1 version of Rob Dillingham drafted by PBOP Tim Connelly back in 2021 for Denver.
And then there’s Rudy Gobert. Once the world’s foremost rebounder and master of making regular-season stats look elite, Rudy is now apparently allergic to grabbing basketballs. His rebounding numbers have fallen to career lows, sparking fears that he may have hit the dreaded “European big man expiration date.” At this rate, Rudy may soon start boxing out his own teammates just for the cardio.
Despite all this, the Wolves are technically getting better. They’ve cracked 13th in offensive rebounding since January 1, which is a huge leap for a franchise that traditionally treats offensive boards like they're radioactive. And they're 9th in free throw rate—meaning they're getting fouled more, which is either a sign of increased aggression or a coordinated league-wide pity effort. Either way, we’ll take it.
So where does this leave us?
Somewhere between “Are we contenders?” and “How will we lose in the most heartbreaking way imaginable?” Which, frankly, is exactly where Wolves fans feel most at home.
